I need some time…

I’m not in a good place right now.

But I am trying.

I’m still going at that positive energy thing despite the… everything.

I woke up to go to class even though I just wanted to hole myself in… possibly forever.

I stayed back to study with M till late even though I wanted to excuse myself and go back to bed.

I bruised my brain trying to unravel the mysteries of French Gender even though I wanted to devote every precious second to moping.

And I am glad to have hung in there.

Because  I was left a note in the morning by B…

And I got a call from Aa just as I’d finished texting her…

MB texted me when she had all but 8% left in her phone… and she finished the much needed counselling just as it hit 1%.

And Shaz. I got off a stop earlier on the train because I didn’t get her call. Went to look for something I needed in the kitchen and couldn’t find it at all. Decided not to take the bus. Took the train to my shuttle stop. Got there 20 minutes earlier. Decided to walk the first floor of a mall through an entrance I almost never take. And there she was. By a shop I never knew existed.

Then someone said something that reminded me of a quote that I’d forgotten for a while, but couldn’t have come at a better time… “Everything is going to be alright in the end. If it is not alright… Then it is not the end.”

If that’s not a sign that my… OUR guardian angel is telling me to hang in there… I don’t know what is.

So thank you… all of you.

 

Hey M… I am… We are… Counting on you now.
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Three Month Mark

It’s been three months since I left work and I have…

Gone for a music festival – St Jerome’ Laneway Festival (Does Coachella over Youtube count as a second one? =D)

Gone for a concert – toe, Mosaic (I see me =D)

Attended a Butoh Workshop with Alb and Kai

Watched a play

Ironed all my darn clothes

Studied French

Watched movies – 300, Amélie, Any Given Sunday, Delicatessen, Fight Club, Infernal Affairs, L’Auberge Espagnole, La Combe Lucien, Les Petits Mouchoirs, Lost in Translation, Machuca, Melancholia, The Descendants, The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Swedish and English Versions), The Godfather I, II and III, The Iron Lady, The Lady

Read – Olivia (in French), Lady Chatterley’s Lover, The Great Frustration, There Once Lived a Woman Who Tried to Kill Her Neighbor’s Baby, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

Worked out (almost) every day

Made crème brúlée (got my own blow torch), made pasta, bread, jam.

Picked up driving

Visited the museum – Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition

Organised the wardrobe and accessories …

Supported Soccer games…

Made new friends…

Most importantly…

Reconnected with loved ones I’ve neglected – Momo, Sis-es, Melb, K, Hui, Xiu, Shus, Bestie, SQ, B

Three months have passed.

And that feeling that time is running out sneaks up on me and teases that panic button ever so often. But it is also that sense of the inevitable end; those limits, that force us to get out there and push ourselves further and harder, so I am thankful.

No time to lament or feel sorry. Not today at least.

Loads more I’ve yet to accomplish, and loads more to come – driving examination, Arts Festival performance, N’s wedding and my long-awaited Berlin visit. (Tokyo soon, I hope!)

And oh yes. I’ve started this humble little blog. This is my 80th post.

Weather With You: Laneway 2012

I promised C a day of fine weather when we met at Laneway this year.

“Did you bring your anti-rain charm?”

I told him I always brought good weather. (Smug, smug, smug.) Plus I do a real good tribal ‘Rain, rain, go away’ dance.

To be honest though, that was a tough promise to keep considering last year’s all-day music festival was more fondly remembered as ‘Rainway’.

I was quietly confident though, because I had Evie on my team.

Now. Evie is a sunblock fanatic. She is a mother of two who puts her kids to sleep every night. She’s going to have to get up to go for work at 6am the next day. She is also a closet hardcore techno raver. Having to convince someone like that to be exposed to UV attack for 12 hours, the odds are already stacked against me.

YET. I managed to get Evie to be my Laneway buddy. (Found out she was addicted to Asteroids Galaxy Tour. Introduced her to The xx. She got obsessed. Fed her with steady stream of Feist. Linked her with the Laneway website. Let it stew. Popped the question three days into the courtship. She said yes.) If there was a musical event equivalent of moving mountains, I’d just done it. So good weather? Easy peasy.

Leading up to the day, Evie announced that Our Laneway Experience (OLE!) will be a litmus test of how her dream of attending a rave party in Germany in the not too distant future would go. We promised to take it easy and just have fun.

The objectives of the day?

Enjoy the music and company.

People watch.

Dance like we just don’t care.

Sing loudly even if we can’t hit the notes.

Slap on sunblock regularly.

Fourteen great musicians. One great day.

And we did.

Cutest tattoo ever.

Fancy a game of poker while the bands set up?

Boot-iful.

A tribute to Whitney by Girls.

We danced like maniacs (Okay. Mostly me.), and swooned like fangirls. The only bummer was a group of teens who managed to squeeze into a spot between us and our funny neighbours, and proceeded to create a haze with their chain-smoking that refused to clear, and drink till they passed out right next to our shoes. But as we watched them, and took in the sunshine and the occasional but welcomed drizzle, we realised how fortunate we were to be able to enjoy ourselves without having to prove to people around us that we soooo coooolll. And that our love for music was enough to get us high.

By the middle of the blazing afternoon, Evie was already planning for Laneway 2013. On the cab ride home, she was refining her plans, and we were well on our way to expanding our troops next year.

And C… I hope you’ve enjoyed the sunshine I brought along just for you. =)

And for the record, I totally disagree with the reviewers of ST’s Life! section when they said Chairlift was ‘disappointing’, and ‘never really got the crowd enthused’. I guess the reviewers just completely missed the people who were clapping and groovin’ along. Friends and I were impressed even though we knew little about them, so I say, ‘You show ’em, Chairlift! You show ’em!’

For more festival pictures, visit Laneway Festival Flickr album and TimeOut KL.