This post may not sit well with some of you, but if you are reading it now, that also means that I have put it up ANYWAY.
It is not about moms.
It is not about children.
It isn’t about prams, or maids.
What it is about, is the obnoxious selfish people who think the world should bow down to them because they have children and maids and prams.
I get crying children. That’s not your fault. Kids cry. I cringe sometimes when they are indoors, but I get it.
I get maids. Often, they are trapped in unenviable positions, wedged between their bosses and the little Csars.
I get gigantic prams. I love the ones in Finland which are the size of a tiny car and can probably literally run people over.
What I don’t get, are rude people who have no shred of consideration for others around them, yet expect people to treat them as if they are royalty.
So I was making my way to an appointment this morning. I was early. Not in a hurry at all. In fact, I usually go on the right side (the ‘express’ side in Singapore) of the escalators and move speedily up/down. It’s a habit. Today, I did not. I cruised. I let the world go by. That is, until I was literally stopped in my tracks and I collided with a world completely alien from mine.
I was about to get on another descending escalator when a woman with two maids and two kids in tow cut into my path. Now I was brought up to let people pass before myself unless I was in an absolute rush, or at risk of being a hazard to others, so I let them go first and waited by the side.
Maid #1 was pushing the pram with a ‘big child’. Oxymoronic, I know. But I don’t mean that he was overweight. He was just too old to be in that pram. Too old to be in ANY pram for that matter. He could speak very well. He was a decent grown boy’s size. Anyway, Maid #1 was gingerly stepping on to the moving escalator as Woman/Employer told her to get on it backwards. (So it is safer for her child, but not at all safe for the maid. But who cares, right? Definitely not her.) Maid #1 kept to the left.
Woman/Employer stepped on. Went to the right of the escalator. And stood there blocking everyone else’s way.
Maid #2 was just about to step on the escalator with Older Boy (and I was all lined up behind her) when Older Boy darted away from her because he had seen a screen playing MTV and there was a ‘fairy’ that was ‘very nice’. All good. You like fairies. I like fairies. Only problem is, he almost knocked into me, and his poor maid had to stop suddenly, and I almost knocked into her. ON AN ESCALATOR. Not fun.
Nevertheless, I made it pass Maid #2, who had to seize Older Boy, and now stood 3 steps away from Woman/Employer, Maid #1 and Big Child. Yes. I value my personal space when I’m out. I think it’s creepy to stand on the next immediate step on an escalator. I also think it is safer to have some space between people when they are moving along. Driving lessons 101.
I was trapped though. I couldn’t move pass them because Woman/Employer does not know how to properly line herself up on the escalator, so I waited. Cruising along on the escalator. Letting the escalator do its job.
Until we reached the botttom of the escalator.
WE. ALL. DID.
Because Maid #1 was stuck heaving Big Child out of the way and Woman/Employer was on the wrong side, blocking everyone’s way; my three-step-gap quickly turned into a no-step-gap with no means of retreat because Maid #2 and fairy-loving Older Boy were right behind and BAM. I was shoved into Woman/Employer’s back.
Yes. We made bodily contact.
I did the only thing I could then, which was let out a shrill/shriek/yelp/shout that went like, “Eksskiussmeeeeee~!”
Woman/Employer was not pleased. She didn’t even turn. Didn’t apologise. Just shouted ahead very loudly, “That’s a pram okay! Cannot be a bit more patient?!”
My groin still attached to her (eww) back, I somehow managed to slip myself out of the way without tripping over and consequently smothering Big Child, and gave her my trademark “narrows eyes squint”.
How was I not patient? If some stranger had their bodies pressed up to her kids, would she ask them to be patient?! Did she desire my tender touch?! Would she want me to step on her precious pram and parkour myself out of the obstacle that was her entourage?!
I wanted to slap her. I wanted to say a lot of bad things relating to human body parts and activities people conduct with those human body parts.
But I just went, “YUCK. SIAO*!” Not very gratifying, I know. But I’m not generally a confrontational person, and if anything, I know how to behave in front of young kids. Besides, attempting to reason/argue with The Mad is madness itself.
But really, if I get to see that crazy *&!^* again and give her a piece of my mind, I’d love to remind her, Woman… The more you refuse to budge for the people around you, the more unattractive you are. Besides… who do you think you are? Don’t expect the world to stop at the snap of your fingers (or the escalators to stop moving for that matter). Oh, and the faster you learn that cruel fact of life before your children take after your dazzling display of lack of manners, the better.
*Siao (Dialect: Hokkien): Crazy